Well folks, it been four years. Wow! Four years! I can’t believe it’s been that long.
What’s been that long you ask?
Oh sorry, how rude of me. Today is my boyfriend and my four year anniversary!
It’s been, well, I’m not really sure there is an adjective to describe it. So I’ll just tell you about.
We meet while working at a local camp. I was working as an arts and crafts counselor, and he was working as a junior counselor. We had/have all the same friends, but somehow had managed to avoid each other for about 5 years. God’s timing maybe? Probably. According to him, he walked into the door of the building, saw me and went, and I quote, “Woah! That’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” Now, one thing you need to know is the guys always have joked that if you really want to know what a girl looks like, inside and out, just observe her as she works with 45 elementary aged kids, in the hot, hot, sun, for 8 hours a day. So lets just say, I was not wearing the latest fashions, it was probably an oversized t-shirt and paint-stained lacrosse shorts, I strongly doubt I had any make-up on, and I’m sure my hair was quite frizzy due to the humidity.
We quickly became instant best friends. I, of course, only considered him another addition to my wonderful collection of “guy friends.” He had other intentions. After about 2 months, my girlfriends start getting on my case about him. They keep telling me he likes me, I continue to deny the fact and tell them they are crazy. We were just really good friends, right? Wrong.
It takes about another month before things start to get moving. School is back in session and we both start our senior year of high school and attend the local community college. We are attached at the hip and talk to each other constantly. He continues to toy with the idea of whether or not to ask me out. He doesn’t want to risk losing me, but he also is unsure of how to deal with the whole “parents” thing. I start to come around and warm up to idea that he actually does like me, and surprise! So. Do. I.
After lots of beating around the bush, and a text message that read “what are we? I love tacos! Tom, ” he officially asks me out. Over instant message. At 1:30 am. We now realize that our anniversary should technically be the 14th, not the 13th, due to the fact that it was after midnight, but almost 2 years had gone by before we realized this, so we just left it. Plus, the conversation did start on the 13th.
This offically begins our journey together. And a rather tramatic year, much on my end, but for both of us.
Which brings me back to the “parents” issue that was metioned earlier. I was the oldest in my family, so my parents has never had a chance to test the dating waters before. Sure I had my crushes, but I was never overly concerned with having a boyfriend. I think a lot of this has to do with the ups and downs of some close friend’s dating relationships. I don’t want to say it scared me, but I think it had quite an effect on how I viewed dating, especially dating without a purpose.
My parents had always wanted to have this whole “courtship” approach, and my mother had firm thoughts that I shouldn’t be in a relationship until I was in the position to get married (i.e. out of college with a job). My boyfriend’s parents were, well, a bit wishy-washy on the whole matter, and took more of the stance of it’s your decision, but don’t make a dumb one. And thus, the battle began.
I won’t go into details, but it’s a battle that still wages on today. It has left very deep wounds and has scared the relationship with my parents and Tommy forever. It’s something I wish had never happened, but it did unfortunately. At the same point in time though, it made our relationship stronger, as it was something rough we had to fight through together, right off the bat.
The rest of the year was filled with more twists and turns. We were both preparing to graduate and were taking classes at the local college for the first time. I was the head of the prom committee and although I loved the experience, I’m hiring a wedding planner! That February (2006), my Dad was severely assaulted at work (he was a nursing manager at a hospital) and then the next day I totaled my car. Then everything geared up as prom and graduation neared, and spring was full of surgeries for Dad to rebuild his face, and lots of figuring out rides for me. That summer I worked at a camp, and was basically sabotaged by a co-worker, making it a stressful and horrible summer. There were lots of little things mixed in as well, making our first year full of ups and downs, but at the same time, forming a solid relationship between us.
These later years, well, they haven’t been as interesting. Dust has settled, and life together has formed a more normal rhythm. We remain the couple that has been together the longest among our friends, both those married and unmarried.
Sometimes it gets frustrating not being at the point in your life where you are able to get married, especially when you have found the one. But at the same time, it’s been such a journey, something so many don’t have. We have so many memories together, so many silly stories to share. We’ve had the chance to live our lives together, but apart at the same time. I often wonder what I did to get blessed like this. Why did I get to find my soul mate on the first try, so early in my life? But all I can say is I’m thankful. Our relationship isn’t perfect, and it never will be I’m sure, but I’ve enjoy the opportunity to share my life with someone else.
He is truly my best friend, and I know I am his. He is so patient with me and always encouraging. He always supports my latest hobbies, doing his best to learn about them. He takes good care of me, and always wishes he could do more. I know he’ll always be there to love and protect me.
And 1,461 days later… were here. Where we go next, who knows, but I look forward to the ride.
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